A well-written sentence can change your life …

Start writing. Publicly. Said no one ever.

No one will notice at first. Which is good. You’ll build the habit. You’ll find your voice.

You’ll build a platform slowly, brick by brick. Over 5-10 years, you’ll build an asset very few have.

A well-written sentence can change your life.

With the stroke of a pen, you can build your network, improve your thinking, and create opportunities for yourself.

Best of all, it’s easy to start writing. All you need is discipline.

The opportunities will shock you.

 

But also remember, Your social media TL (Timeline ) is your CV. Don’t tweet what can hunt you years after.

Never take for granted the gift of life

 

Today is January 15th. The day my hands and feet got tingling sensation, and then the following day, I woke up in hospital next to my daughter who had also collapsed after receiving sad news of her Friend’s father who got caught up in the Dusit terror attack exactly a year ago, far away in Nairobi. She got discharged,  I never walked again until later in 2019

 

I am going through each and every survivor story today to appreciate what I have today. I’m grateful to finally being able to feel cold and hot simultaneously on both hands and feet, something I could not do for the past 12 months. My story is nothing compared to what people went through trying to survive the shootings inside Dusit. Condolences to the families of those who lost loved ones.

 

Inspirational stories can give us all some lessons and teach us how to be grateful, and hold on to positivity in the darkness of loss and trauma.

 

I took out my Artful 2017 vision board from storage today ( I’m a nomad , I move around a lot) I’ve achieved 60% of my goals. The more I receive , the more I give, was one of my quotes. The only downside was losing one daughter,  I didn’t see that coming.

 

 

Now this, I’ve added as a footnote in my new 2020 aspirations. 

 

I am deserving of all the good things that come to me today and every day. I am not only focused, but also super productive. I embody excellence, and everything I do is beautiful. Love flows from me and towards me effortlessly.

 

All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe.

 

I am so beautiful in so many ways. What I have to offer is limitless. My aura is infectious. I radiate love, life, femininity, youth, happiness, healing, health and strength. I am my own healer, protector, opponent and muse. I love myself. 

 

I am receiving unexpected opportunities. Someone somewhere is selecting me to be part of a great project. I am attracting the best. My life is changing positively. Favour is locating me.

 

Everything that I touch turns to gold. Someone somewhere is choosing me for an extraordinary opportunity today. My best is more than enough and I produce nothing short of excellence in all that I do and in all that I am.

 

Now to start paying off Doctor”s bills bills bills by end of January.

 

2020 belongs to me.

I am going to live, my face is her inheritance

The truth is, what goes into your body is either going to create disease or fight it, there’s no grey area. You are what you eat.

Today, I came across an article which resonates with me as a human being, I read it more than once. If there’s any article you must read in your lifetime, this is it. 

Shared link https://t.co/SOgWYDBECC

There are days I lack the energy to even get out of bed, I dropped 20kg within 6 months, In my life History, and for those who know me, not OF me, know that I’ve always been a very skinny person. Just like Al Kags experience, I also broke my body, I was found to be severely malnourished and dehydrated because I rarely ate nor drank water (At all) and almost died in April, a day before my Birthday ( I cancelled and rebuked that curse ). 

Weird cravings came immediately thereafter and I blamed it on the Meds , I craved fried grasshoppers ( Nsenene ) Caterpillars ( Mopani worms ) and deep fried Tilapia in coconut sauce with Brown sima/ Ugali at odd hours , please note I’m way past Baby-Making age, so NOT those cravings. 

I listened to my Good Doctor, he told me I needed lots of Physiotherapy (Lifting and stretching) and rest, just rest) Consistency is harder when no one is clapping for you, so I became my own biggest fan and clapped for myself, be disciplined and consistent, always, both have gotten me this far, and quite frankly it was my rebirth, true friends checked up on me. My circle has gotten smaller as I now cherish MY relationship with them more, I continue to live life as if today is my last.

The big question now is, how do I regain 20kg and restore my Muscle weight. I’ve tried Protein shakes past 2 months yet all I seem to drink is the foam and my appetite is back with a bang, my skin is suddenly sagging in all the wrong places except my face (thank GOD), my hair fell off, and I gained 2Kg last month with a Moon face to boot, but I’m glad to be alive.

People will always quit on you, you’ve got to get up everyday and just make sure you never quit on yourself. Today my youngest daughter turns legal, and what better way to celebrate than going out for a jog with her.

 

Captured by @sozoed, Makeup by @lankara_brides ( No filter )

I affirm this quote daily “Be encouraged! God shall restore all the years that were destroyed by the enemy. He is a restorer of all. His plans are not our plans and no one can change that “.

Ms G, you often put a mirror before me and helped me see my flaws, for that I’m forever grateful. My Angel, My Princess, My second heart to beat outside my Body , HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

My face is her inheritance 

Captured by @sozoed, Makeup by @lankara_brides ( No filter )

My experience in Xenophobic South Africa 1991-1994

 

 

Whatever is happening today in South Africa is Apartheid trauma whose terrible effects cannot be undone, South Africa just looks GOOD in pictures. Historical context matters.

By the time you finish reading this piece, news just in, the Rand breaks through R15/$ thanks to growth surprise. It”s Business as usual.

THIS is my experience in Xenophobic South Africa circa 1991-1994.  What I experienced shaped me into becoming what I am today, somethings i cannot unsee.

Prior to 1994, immigrants from elsewhere faced discrimination, contrary to expectations, these incidents increased after majority rule in 1994. I realized much much later that Kwerekwere wasn’t a corrupted version of my surname KERE, it was derogatory term.

I was going through my archive, collection circa 1991-1994 when I came across a picture I took posing next to a border post in Bophuthatswana. My daughter asked me what I was doing there and how comes that country does not exist ( She tried to Google it)

These Bantustans / Homelands were Apartheid creations. Look them up

She started asking questions again. I love it when she does that ( being curious about some things that is) it means something mattered enough for her to be curious enough. She was curious to know why, at the age of 23, I decided to pack my bags and emigrated Down South, to a place where nobody liked the color of my skin and it was within their Laws not to accept me, how and why?

What started as an adventure to find out what was on the other side of Africa, initially led me to a country called Botswana, I had family friends and a gent who was also a flight instructor who confused me thoroughly, it was my dream to get a private Pilot license before my driver’s license. Botswana was the furthest Southern-most country my Kenyan passport allowed me to travel, legally. Well there was Lesotho and Swaziland but one had to transit via South Africa. My Passport had this specific instruction, “This Passport is Valid for all parts of the commonwealth and all foreign countries “EXCEPT THE REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA“

I crossed into South Africa via Ramathlabama Border post into Bophuthatswana from Botswana in 1991. I wasn’t sure at the time what that was all about but somehow, clever East Africans had found a way of traveling to South Africa without Entry nor exit stamps, through this Apartheid make-believe country. yes, they existed before 1994.

This is what used to happen, you get a Valid Visa/Residence permit but it is not stamped on your passport, you could basically remove it from your passport. I could travel back to my home country on my passport and no immigration official would suspect I entered South Africa. Those who knew, know .

See, under apartheid, Black people were reduced to homelands ie Transkei , Ciskei, Bophuthatswana and Venda. These fake kingdoms were run by Apartheid appointed chiefs, but since 1994 they ceased to exist. Apartheid was evil, it gave birth to the most offensive racist law was the Bantu Education Act No 47 of 1953.

I still ask myself “What was I thinking!!!” , Hell, I was young and needed the money. That’s how I found my way into South Africa for the very first time, I went back home, quit my Job, packed my stuff and emigrated to South Africa having secured a similar but higher paying job. I had met the owner of several businesses including Hotels while working in Nairobi, he was among a delegation of private South African investors who had traveled to Kenya in 1991 with President De F W Klerk, most were of Jewish Greek stock, mostly impressed by the high quality of Kenyan standards in the hospitality and service industry regarding attitude, reliability and work ethics. Jobs that can never be replaced will be those that require strong human character traits like empathy, a positive attitude and resilience.

I was guaranteed a high paying job after securing a Work/Residence permit with the usual condition that they guaranteed no South African could do what I do and that I should be able to train a South African to take over from me when my time was up ( I’m fluent in 3 international languages ) Bottom-line, it was purely a business investment. My employer never looked at the color of my skin.

My main job description was Marketing the business outfit to Africans ( South Africans, Black or White never considered themselves as Africans, there was a completely separate market share for Africans and Others ) I was a law-abiding expat who duly paid her taxes, minding my own business.

I found a few Kenyans already living on Jozi, most were lecturers in local Universities and Estate Agents plus a few Doctors, we had no Embassy in South Africa, we reported to the British High commission Deaths and Births until Kenya Airways set shop and the local Country Rep, A Mr Kariuki was our go-to-Guy, based in Sandton.

The Government later deleted the Notification on our passports that specifically indicated “ EXCEPT THE REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA”. I arrived at Jan Smuts international Airport, they flew their Orange Birds with HUGE SAA livery on the sides of each Plane. The airport was no larger than the Greyhound bus terminus. The year was 1992.

I settled down in the Conservatory neighborhood, predominately Jewish and later on moved to Berea, still a Jewish neighborhood. I could safely stroll down to Hillbrow on a Sunday, it was once a very clean and safe neighborhood ( I Kid you not)

I started a Family and delivered my first child In a Huge Hospital in a Town called Krugersdorp, an Afrikaner Boer stronghold. Nobody intimidated me. They say when God shows you mercy, your story sounds like it was made up.

What is Xenophobia and why are people burning other people’s businesses in South Africa today? my daughter kept asking, did you go there to steal their jobs ? Is that why they are still Angry, almost 30 yrs later? I explained to her that the word Xenophobia is formed from a brace of words found in Ancient Greek, Xenos meaning Stranger or Guest, and Phobos meaning Flight or fear ( Not that she had not searched up the Internet for its meaning but she needed to hear my context)

In today’s context, Xenophobia arises when people feel that their rights to benefit from their government is being subverted by other people’s rights, they fear and hate strangers and foreigners or anything that is strange and foreign. Yes, I looked like I had a good job, I lived in a “White” neighborhood and enjoyed all the trappings of success, but it looked the opposite with my colleagues at work. Most of the Blacks came from Boksburg and the colored lived in Melrose. They all dressed well and looked affluent to me, sadly their stories often glorified Shoplifting and carjacking, I did not fraternize much except with our Ugandan chief Accountant and some Zambians and Zimbabweans, kept to myself really. This was in 1992. I stopped asking too many questions. We lost touch, I still wonder where they are

Hillbrow / Berea would not be described as CBD per se, they were but beginning of the leafy Suburbs, believe it or not that time. Nelson Mandela lived next door in Upper Houghton. It was a good location until the invasion from “Africans” as they used to call us. I’m not sure how and when buildings started getting hijacked but from what I see via news outlets , Hillbrow is a sorry state of affairs, a pale shadow of my 1992 Hillbrow.

Recently they tried reclaiming inner city glory with MABONENG , my late daughter started University in 2012 in South Africa and had her first apartment at the MABONENG PRECINT, She had to take me to Newtown for me to physically believe it was safe in 2014, sad to hear the buildings are now up for sale today.

In an article about xenophobic attacks on foreigners published in 2015, the New York Times claimed South Africa was home to 5 million immigrants. Reuters used the same figure. BBC wrote that there are between 2 and 5 million immigrants in the country. Where did the 5 million figure come from? It turns out the media referenced a plagiarized article published in a journal that does not meet academic quality standards, as pointed out by Africa Check. In academic circles such publications are known as predatory journals that publish anything for a price.

The precise numbers of foreigners in South Africa is up for debate.

COPIED:

POPULATION OF FOREIGNERS IN SOUTH AFRICA BY COUNTRY…

Zimbabwe   649,385

Mozambique   381,386

Lesotho   312,537

Namibia   174,043

United Kingdom   123,764

Malawi   102,327

Germany   93,660

Zambia   92,075

Swaziland   87,362

Botswana   69,160

Angola   65,716

DR Congo   50,340

Portugal   44,925

India   39,907

China   38,684

Italy   38,515

Netherlands   33,217

Congo   32,497

Somalia   30,847

Nigeria   27,326

Kenya   27,143

Ireland   19,989

United States   16,713

Pakistan   16,517

Poland   16,276

Tanzania   15,823

Greece   14,912

Mauritius   14,043

Belgium   13,128

France   12,506

Australia   11,898

Ghana   11,013

Burundi   10,822

Source: United Nations (2017) why they left out Ethiopia is as good a guess as mine, I don’t know.

The best way to address this is through honest and factual reporting of data.

Your journey trying to get into South Africa without travel documents will end in robbery, sexual assault or even death

To get a bigger picture, just like in South Africa,  300,000 Whitemen came from the damp and decaying Europe to curve for themselves a clean and well lighted place in the sun,living among 7 Milion Black Men. To Cecil Rhodes and his early pioneers, the Land known as British South Africa was purely a business investment

Since August 1989, Mr. de Klerk had visited Mozambique, Zaire, Zambia, Ivory Coast, Namibia, Cape Verde, Madagascar, Morocco, Senegal and Swaziland . 

The other 2 countries are Egypt in northern Africa and Nigeria in West Africa. Mr. de Klerk met with President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt during Namibia’s independence celebrations in March 1990.

President Ibrahim Babangida of Nigeria told reporters that he was not opposed to meeting Mr. de Klerk if it would help bring equal voting rights for South Africa’s black majority.

On 9th June 1991 President de Klerk made a brief visit to Kenya urging normalization of relations, if that meant Kenya supported apartheid, 10 other African countries had not opposed meeting him.

South Africa’s long closed door to the rest of Africa swung open wider today when President F. W. de Klerk flew to Kenya for a brief but significant visit with President Daniel arap Moi.

Kenya became the 10th African country to receive Mr. de Klerk in the two years since he replaced P. W. Botha as National Party leader and then President and promised to dismantle apartheid.

Criminal activity has always been the underbelly in South Africa. Before apartheid fell, cars stolen from South Africa used to be driven and sold them across the borders as far as Kenya and brought back Mandrax.

Hillbrow became the melting pot of Africans from Angola, Mozambique, Guinea, Tanzania, Kenya , Nigeria, Ghana , Malawi, Zimbabwe , Uganda , Ethiopia, The DRC and Zambia of the Import Export variety . Every Business person from “Africa” was into Import Export . I kept all the financial records for my Greek Jewish Boss.

When time came for me to leave South Africa after my Work permit was not renewed, I left with no regrets. I never saw Mandela become President but was around during the voting . Veni Vidi Vici

 

Against the background of Bantu Education, what hope did Black South Africans really have unless they sneaked out of South Africa without travel documents during the Apartheid era, or obtaining legal exit travel documents where you sign exit  promising never to return as the likes of Miriam Makeba and Bra Hugh Masekela. Your journey trying to get into South Africa today without travel documents will end in robbery, sexual assault or even death.

In early 1962, Nelson Madela left his country without Travel Documents via Lobatse in Bechuansland ( Present day Botswana). In order to facilitate his travels he was issued with an Ethiopian passport , in the name of David Motsamayi

 

The education Black South Africans received was meant to keep the South African people apart from one another, to breed suspicion, hatred and violence, to keep them backward. Education was formulated so as to reproduce this society of racism and exploitation.

The aim was to prevent blacks from receiving education leading them to aspire to positions they’d be allowed to hold in society, they were to receive education designed to provide them with skills to serve their own people in homelands or work in manual jobs for whites. Soweto students rejected the whole system of Bantu Education whose aim was to reduce them mentally and physically, into ‘hewers of wood and drawers of water, remember the movie SARAFINA? That was what’s up in 1976.

Dr Hendricks Verwoerd once said “There’s no place for [The Bantu] in our community above the level of certain forms of labor. What’s the use of teaching the Bantu child math when it can’t use it in practice? Education must train people in accordance with their opportunities in life”

Yet another quote by J. Le Roux of the National Part in 1945 said “We should not give the Natives any academic education. If we do, who is going to do the manual labor in the community?”

We must learn to live together as Sisters and Brothers or perish together as fools, we overconfident perishable Twats. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Hurt people hurt people, time to break that chain. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness.

South Africans need to be better educated not to destroy their country , and learn more about other African countries

My advice. Don’t stay where you are tolerated. Go we’re you are celebrated

Hear this. I leave you with this recent Africa quiz between a BBC reporter and 18 year old South African high school children. Looks like they have never been taught about the rest of Africa and the role it played in liberating them from a Racist regime. Can you blame them. Apartheid was EVIL

Click the link below to listen in

 https://soundcloud.com/bbcafrica/the-africa-quiz

My NHIF chronicles and diagnosis

 

 

My words about my journey are always meant to inspire and reflect so let me say it’s been a minute. Don’t fall sick in Kenya, you will lose friends, relatives and then you will Die. This is my 5 month experience. 

There is nothing worse than hearing the words ” We only cater for Civil servants, hii card haitakusaidia “, when you are really, really sick and almost dying, and you have never been late with your premiums.

On the evening of January 15th 2019, a General practitioner calmly informed me that I had damaged nerves on both my legs and hands after suddenly collapsing at home and losing sensation on the toes of my feet and fingers, this after gradually developing pins and needles sensation after a major surgery in October 2018. What I did not know was that it was going to be a devastating journey to a medical odyssey that began in January, AGAIN. I kept mum. Not a soul needed to know unless I knew they could help.

With a sudden-onset, frozen legs, I took an unexpected lifestyle transformation that made me to lose a total 16 kg within 5 months and possible surgery after 3 months if there was to be no improvement  (nerves and muscles take time to regenerate at the rate of an inch per month, or not at all they say. I psychologically prepared myself to a future of being wheeled around )Nonetheless my reaction was not one of shock, after all I was back home in Kenya, on NHIF this time fully paid up for one year. I had learnt my lessons before, but not to worry CK, Super + cover was what got me sold with Super glossy brochures. So many benefits for private / Self employed monthly subscription of Kshs 500/- . It was too good to be true. I later found out they don’t pay for prescribed drugs nor consultations as advertised, they don’t.

 

This is my entire NHIF experience and diagnosis.

I started worrying about why a right-sided limp was now getting worse and my getting short of breath after every 2 steps made me panic. It was January, February, March and still fresh with flashbacks of the anniversary of my late Daughter and Sister Rodah’s (both suffered strokes within those 3 months in 2014 and 2017 respectively), I needed to get that ruled out. Cancel and rebuke the spirits of January,February and March. There was a Heatwave of hellish proportions to which I could attribute my condition to.

Went back to the General Doctor on duty (A different one) at my NHIF designated healthcare facility who ordered blood-works early the following day at 6 am. That fresh early blood. Fetched the results next day and he prescribed vitamin B, Myospaz and generic Cachnerve capsules and I shall see a difference after 3 days.

Behind the facade of the ever cheerful CK was a human deeply scared about facing the truth when It had been a really, really tough two months after changing prescription medicine Cachnerve to Neurocare and still not getting better. Halfway through March I got paralyzed and bedridden. This did not feel nor look like nerve issues.

 

I went back to the General practitioner ( another different Doctor ) and he decided must urgently book an appointment with a nerve Specialist , preferably a consultant physician and a Neurologist and that will have to be private and out of pocket, for consultations and prescriptions.

I cancelled all my future plans to have X rays, CT Scans and spine MRI scans, NHIF Super + cover guaranteed, they’d settle THOSE bills after authorization they said, My wooohooo moment was short-lived. 

It took me the entire Month of April to complete booking for an MRI at an NHIF designated diagnostic center. In Mombasa we only have 3 options for CT Scans and MRI ie Jocham,  Pandya and Wellcare center in Nyali, had been redirected to Premier hospital, unfortunately they told me they do not have one in operation yet, for non civil servants.

The reason it took me 4 weeks to secure my MRI was because the diagnostic center required prior Scans. I had an altercation  with the reception lady at Pandya because clearly she could not explain why I needed an X ray and CT Scan before an MRI each at a cost of no less than 15K. She shrugged and told me that’s the way it is.

So, I went back to book for an X ray of my Lumbar/ spine, results were immediate thank God did not require authorization from NHIF since it was my designate facility. Took the results to book for a CT Scan at Wellcare center. Authorization from NHIF was issued within 24 hrs. Went back the following day to have the Scan done. Another 24hr wait for results. Took spine CT Scan results (which I found both spine X-Ray unnecessary because there was nothing to show, nothing to see ) meanwhile one week wasted . It was the Easter long weekend so I had to book MRI for Tuesday following week since Monday was a public holiday.

 

Tuesday early morning found me at Pandya, booked NHIF MRI authorization (with X-ray and CT Scan attachments). Sadly the receptionist who I gathered still held a grudge about my asking why I needed prior scans decides I had to go back to my Doctor for NHIF authorization forms because she couldn’t see it attached.  I went back all the way to my Designated NHIF facility only for them to confirm that the Doctor had signed the NHIF authorization  forms. Went back to NHIF MRI designated center at Pandya to face the same lady at the reception . I was in PAIN tired and hungry. She tells me no NHIF authorization , No MRI booking. A supervisor was watching the entire altercation then she grabbed the forms and flipped them back to front and told the receptionist the authorization forms where stapled back to front. Kumbe I had the NHIF authorized forms throughout, a wasted trip, wasted time and all she said was oops!  No apology. Natsing, She mumbled something about calling me within 24 hrs after NHIF authorization come’s through for the MRI procedure .

I received my call on Wednesday morning, had the procedure done and waited another 24 hrs for the results, on Thursday. Friday afternoon came and I had to take all the results to the Private Doctor (Recommended but not covered by NHIF) . He only needed the MRI results, the X-ray and CT Scans were useless. Meanwhile GOK has authorized and settled 45K worth of X-ray, CT Scan and MRI, when I only needed a 15K MRI procedure. My New treatment had not started by March. Depending on the MRI results, the only option was back surgery or lifelong Spinraza injections. I willed myself to get better after finding out the cost. Mind over matter.

Long story short, Private Doctor has no prior history of CK. Orders blood-works after just looking at my Moon-face, thank God I had done them in February at my NHIF designated facility, PAID a total Kshs 4800/- (and was given a clean bill of health THEN) All along the new good Doctor had suspected it was the blood that triggered the damaged nerves or post traumatic stress disorder. He wanted to hear my FULL experience to eliminate all possibilities. I told him EVERYTHING, from my botched emergency Dental procedure, the stress and trauma since 2017, my poor eating habits , something that should have been taken care of in January 2019! What even shocked him more was the fact that my Iron levels were on the Edge, I was a walking dead running on empty quite literally. God loves me, I’d just turned 51 yrs in April.

With the diagnosis now confirmed, Acute Peripheral Neuropathy, Disc collapse L5/S and iron deficiency Anaemia. Prescribed Tot’hema Iron supplements ( My life saver) and discontinued the Muscle relaxant Myospaz . A treatment plan in place, 14 physiotherapy session at an out of pocket cost of $20 per physiotherapy session and an equal amount as consultation fees ( What is Super + Cover)

 

I was not prepared for the new challenges ahead. I have amazing Parents who are no strangers to serious medical illness, and I have a tiny circle of friends and colleagues whom I consider to be exceptional human beings, we raised a few funds and I had to take out a loan as well. I don’t consider myself unlucky, and whatever the next stage of my life holds for me, many others have it far worse.

In the time since my condition started I have been less busy being hopeless at tasks. I was ashamed to say I am struggling but still reached out. The one response forever etched in my mind was being told “If there is witchcraft,  this is it,  I cannot help you” from a dear long lost “learned” friend, I was not surprised, at times like these you get to know who has always been on your side. You win some , you lose some. I roll 5 deep. 5 loyal friends which include family. The number 5.

I’ve always said, when you see someone trying their best to deal with suffering, please don’t wag your heads and say they are not trying hard enough. Please don’t automatically assume that some evil has been committed and the condition is contagious that might rub off to you or family. Just offer them GRACE, just be there for them.

I may not have friends in high places but I have a friend in the highest of places who has kept me grounded, God.

We have a depressed generation hiding behind jokes, alcohol, weed and memes, but deep inside broken, hopeless with most feeling dead and empty. Inward cries but outward smiles. Check on your friends.

This world needs more hand holding. Holding hands not only decreases the stress hormone, cortisol, it also increases the love hormone, oxytocin. Hands and fingers contain the most nerve endings in the body, holding hands can really help make you feel more at ease, hold hands. My Cortisol levels going haywire right now, I need me some Oxytocin surge and Hand-holding.

Today, all my 14 physiotherapy sessions are done and dusted, Good results, now slowly on my way to full recovery, despite acquiring an unusual taste for exotic food, may y’all be blessed, I can’t thank you enough nor repay for all the kindness, I can only promise to pay it forward, somehow, someday. 

A lot of people have asked “What can I do to help ?”  The answer is to treat me exactly the same as before.

Virtually every Teen has that “Secret social media account”

It’s so heartbreaking to let millennial and teenagers go. I’ve just read an article that so aptly described both my teengirls’-Mum angst.

Social media has been blamed for ruining our democracy, shortening our children’s attention spans and undermining the fabric of society. But through it, I was able to be with my daughters out in the world again, to see what they see, to virtually stand beside them and witness the people and places they move through, in nearly real-time. Not in a parent-policing role, but in a wonderful-world sort of way, before they blocked me.

I am now 50 and I don’t remember shutting my mother out. I don’t remember being mad at her. All mothers want to do is love their children equally.

That piece couldn’t have come at a better time and she could have been describing me. It seemed as if every year, starting at 13 both of them became more and more remote, and I have become more and more anxious and sad. Where did my adorable little girls, who once told me “I was their favorite person,” go? It became with enormous effort that I stopped following them on Instagram, and stopped interrogating them with intrusive questions, you know, 3rd degree questions like,”did you have a nice time?’ and “would you like a cup of tea?” The article made me feel less alone, and trust that if I accept my daughter as she is now, the thaw will come.

Miss G was as remote as any teenager could be. And then I saw her photography.

Recognition of my daughter’s photographic and ICT related talents helped bridge the communication chasm. She happens to be a gamer who is well-known in that community .

She rarely lets me see her regular Instagram and Snapchat, but I’m blocked from those. I never really got the hang of snapchat, so I cherish all the time we have together

Virtually every kid has that “secret social media account”

Few things are more painful than loving teenagers, particularly when they are your children. Ask any mother who has been through a daughter’s adolescence and she will nod in sympathy, maybe even give you the hug you have been missing.

It will pass, friends tell me. You know it in your head, but your heart is a torn punching bag with the stuffing falling out.

After more than a decade of nurturing and feeding and picking up and dropping off and helping with homework and braiding hair and supervising play dates and fighting battles and holding hands to cross the street, you are suddenly shut out. The bedroom door is firmly closed. Every now and then I knock and go in, but I always feel like an intruder.

I yearn for those nights when my daughter, couldn’t sleep and I spooned her tiny body in the recesses of mine, her warmth commingling with mine, putting us both into a coma.

These days, I barely see or talk to her. She’s busy with school, and when she has free time she would rather be out with friends. I get it. I hear snippets of her life ringing from her upstairs room, conversations and laughter, favorite songs occasionally played in the car from her iPad .When I try to connect with her, it backfires.

I know. I know. I remember how I treated my mother at that age. Not wanting to talk to her, much less walk near her on the sidewalk. I became enraged when she secretly looked in my diary, obviously snooping for information.

But now that I have my own teenage girl, I realized for the first time that my mother wasn’t even looking for anything incriminating. She was simply looking for me. Trying to catch a glimpse of the girl she had given birth to, the full-grown person she had nurtured who was now walking swiftly away from her.

From this vantage point, a new, sadder realization struck me: I no longer saw G in her natural habitat, telling jokes or even crying with those she was close to. I was losing her to the world. Which is the point of your children growing up. If you do a good job, they go out into that world and make a life.

A few years ago, I bumped into a friend

Then with eyes wide, asked, “Have you seen her Instagram feed?”

I started to panic. All I could think of were other parents I had spoken to whose daughters’ feeds were filled with revealing photos. Parents who had to take their children’s phones and computers away because of inappropriate posts or texts. Oh God, I thought. Here it comes.

“No,” I said. “Why?”

“It’s amazing,” She said. “She’s a great photographer. She has over a thousand followers.”

Remember that if she/he is really into you on social media they’re probably not hitting the “like’ button on most of your posts, they’re clicking “View all comments” .

Instagram and Facebook shows you who views “Your story” It didn’t take rocket science to figure out who the random person who is always first and keeps viewing all your stories, and I mean ALL , and when they comment , all the have to say is why are you always Online ( I am guilty if not logging off so I always appear to be online 24/7 even when I am just listening to music ) but then again how would they know if they themselves unless they are also online 24/7.

“View tweet activity” is such a useful icon and only YOU can see it. Have you ever Tweeted, then look at that icon and realize everyone hit ‘detail expand’ but nobody liked it? Is like having a whole crowd look at you, look again and then back away slowly muttering “No thanx”. Thank God she never joined Twirra.

I had never asked to see G’s feed. I didn’t even know the name she used. She looks like a rabbit in all her profile pictures, But a thousand followers? She receives over 100 “likes” a minute after posting literally anything.

That night, I got up the nerve to ask G if I could follow her on Instagram. Miraculously, she said yes, shrugging as she walked up the stairs to her room. I grabbed my phone, and suddenly, there it was: G’s life. In black-and-white and full color.

I encourage her to take as many photos with friends, memories captured that she will cherish forever when they are physically forever gone.

You can always make money , but you cannot always make memories.

I’m glad I recorded miles and miles of old VHS footage of my children growing up and converted the tapes into digital files before uploading them online, mostly you tube, I could watch them for days, besides being therapeutic I save a lot from visiting a therapist as many wish i could prescribe, I am doing just fine thank you very much.

Live the life you love or love the life that you live, the choice is always yours. I cannot shut up and i cannot help it, I’m a chronic oversharer.

There were photos of her, goofing around , on rare occasions she is the subject, very rare. Not just photos, but beautifully framed photos. Taken by my daughter.

There were gorgeous landscapes, flowers, buildings, from where we’ve spent part of every holiday, lovingly captured with the title “ The happy place” And photos of a trip we took, It was the same view I had,with her thoughts, but perfectly archived for eternity.

Then there was the photo she posted of herself as a little girl dancing with her now late father.

“Wish I was still a little kid,” the caption read.

So I wasn’t the only one.

What is the value of a stamp

 

 

 

 

There are those that know the true value of a rare postage stamp.

Expensive stamps do not have to look beautiful. It’s not always apparent , whether a stamp is expensive or not. Some old and used stamps can be very valuable and ordinary – looking  items can be expensive if they wear a so-called secret mark

Graphical subjects found on postage stamps have ranged from the early portrayals of kings, queens and presidents to later depictions of ships, birds and satellites, famous people ,historical events, comics, dinosaurs, hobbies (knitting, stamp collecting), sports, holiday themes, and a wealth of other subjects too numerous to list

An Inverted Jenny stamp, in which the image of the Curtiss JN-4 biplane upside down, the most famous error in American philately , is considered one of the most valuable stamp in the world. This one has been owned for decades by a family in Illinois.

No. 49 of 100 Jennies famously misprinted with an upside-down biplane was locked away in vaults for generations. The whereabouts of No. 66 remains unknown. Several others have been damaged , including one that was sucked into a vacuum cleaner .

Until recently , an inverted Jenny Surfaces. The Flawed stamp has not been seen since 1918?

On September 6, 2018, the New York Times broke news that the inverted Jenny from position 49 had finally emerged after remaining in seclusion for one hundred years.

According to the Philatelic foundation , the stamp was owned by the descendent of the original collector who bought it in 1918 directly from Eugene Kleun, the dealer who divided the sheet on behalf of Colonel Green. This Jenny spent the last century in bank vaults , the stamp is in “Post office” Mint Never’ Hinged state, and the colours and paper are brilliant and fresh.

The inverted Jenny position 49 with a face value of 24c is one of the greatest and most expensive USA philatelic items , it is to be sold by Siegel during an auction that will take place between November 14  – 16th 2018.

Featuring deep rich colours unlike any other specimens , this stamp has been kept in safety deposit for the past 100 years.

According to Siegel ” This is the finest example in existence, by virtue of it’s pristine gum and phenomenal centering”.

Because the stamp was never mounted on an Album, it is coveted by collectors as a mint, unhinged copy with its original gum.

Only six unhinged Jenny inverts, including this example , are recorded from the original sheet of 100

This bright lot in a mint condition and with long and full perforations all around is expected to fetch more than it’s catalogue value of $850,000 , it is possible that the previous record of $1,351,250 will be broken

 

Isn’t the fact that stamps were largely ignored by govt exactly why rare stamps were used as currency by criminals? Also high value density

Now for the big question, Who authorised Western Union to circulate limited edition Stamps bearing my face ( And my now deceased daughter ), as a matter of fact we both look , very different from the original shots.

 

I’ve been looking for this Western Union 2005 limited edition stamp on eBay since someone anonymously brought it to my attention over 13 years ago.

 

Someone in Oman put it up for sale on eBay in 2004. I WANT THAT STAMP, to me it is priceless . That was me on the stamp with my beautiful daughter Chevy (R.I.P) once upon a time. How much would you pay for this stamp ?

 

It is rare stamp to me , priceless even, I am no Queen, nor a President, not even a Ship, or a bird and satellites, not a famous person nor a historical  event , nor a holiday theme.

I am just a Mum with an Internet connection

Empathy is so much better than sympathy

Empathy is so much better than sympathy. Walking a mile in someone’s shoes is a great activity to help learn more about them.

You cannot process someone’s experience for them in order to fit into a certain idea you have of them unless you have walked a mile in their shoes

Hear this: [ Excerpts from Megan Devine]

” If your life has exploded into a million little bits, you don’t need platitudes. You don’t need cheerleading. You don’t need to be told this all happened for a reason.

Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

What’s the best way to help a grieving friend , give them advice? Cheer them up? Remind them that life is for the living?

NO!

 

The best way to help people is to let them be in pain. You cannot heal somebody’s pain by trying to take it away from them,  it’s not your job.

It’s so hard to know what to do when your friends are hurting. The thing is, you can’t cheer someone up by telling them to look on the bright side, or by giving them advice. It just doesn’t work. It will only make them not really tell you about their pain.

 

It is more helpful to say “I’m so sorry that is happening . Do you want to tell me what is happening” 

 

To be able to say “this hurts” without being talked out of it, that helps.

Acknowledgment does something different. Acknowledge that things are as bad as they feel to you. Being heard helps. It makes things better even if it can’t be made right.

 

If a big giant hole opens up in someone’s life it’s much more supportive to acknowledge that hole.

Let things hurt and let that pain exist

 

If you try to cheer me up , I will become defensive by trying to defend myself and my feelings , and if you start giving advice you will be misunderstood instead of being supported.

Improve all of your “I’m here for you” intentions and be that supportive friend you most want to be “

May you find people who can truly see, hear and witness your truth

“The human soul does not want to be fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed, to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is” ~ Parker J. Palmer

Emptiness

 

 

This statue is called “Emptiness” and was created by a grieving parent.

It is a great attempt at describing how a parent feels after losing a child.

It is called Melancolie. And it is heartbreakingly beautiful.

The artwork created by Albert György (living in Switzerland, but born in Romania) can be found in Geneva in a small park on the promenade (Quai du Mont Blanc) along the shore of Lake Geneva.

The thought of losing a child is unimaginable but for many, it’s all too real and some have written that this sculpture depicts how they feel.

We may look as if we carry on with our lives as before. We may even have times of joy and happiness. Everything may seem “normal”.

But THIS, “Emptiness” is how we all feel, ALL the time.

Spoken words have power

 

People carry the words they’ve heard spoken to them throughout their lives.

These words can build them up positively or tear them down. One thing is true, your words carry power.

Be graceful …